Having this blog, this record of some of my thoughts and sentiments that are both delicate and explosive, is both a blessing and a curse.
It allows me to release what’s written all over my soul. It unchains the imprisoned thoughts bludgeoning my mind, wanting nothing but to escape and be free. It is the refuge I can never find anyplace else, never in anyone else. And it allows me to go on doing something I have always loved yet never loved enough to choose over the path I have taken now.
But it makes me remember everything. It makes remember what I should forget if I wanted to be happier. It reminds of the most terrible moments of my life, of the times when I felt too much pain. And unluckily, it is when I’m at my worst that I could write best.
But I never intended to put all those out of my mind. And it is not to be happier that would make me feel whole. I intend to remember as remembering can make me become stronger albeit not happier, and, besides, I promised I’d never forget.