So, there’s this guy. He may seem no different from a million other guys, but there’s something special about him. It is that he likes you. He has this particular and exclusive affection for you. And you know what? You don’t care a bit. He’s a very good friend but he’ll never be someone more than that, you said. After years of hurtful and unrequited love this wretched lad had to endure because of an apathetic, soulless you, he finally found the love he’s been waiting for, the love he truly deserves. And here’s the catch: that’s when you realized that you can’t afford to lose him, to see him love another.
Though already a cliché, it is true that you cannot really tell how much someone really means to you until after you’ve lost him. Or maybe, you really do know the value of this person but you never thought that the day would come when he gets tired of all the fruitless loving and finally stops giving you the affection you’re not even worthy of.
The moment you knew of his newfound love, you began to see the moments you had with him being played inside your head- all those long talks, hearty laughs, the good times. And instead of being delighted by these resplendent memories, you can feel your heart slowly dying in anguish and regret. It felt like it is being shattered into pieces and no one recognizes this except for you. That instant, you knew that everything both of you had been through would never happen again, that it is the end.
On the outside, you pretend that you’re very happy for them just like how happy you were when you saw a romantic film and the couple had their happy ever after. You tease them, you congratulate them, you wish them the best. Meanwhile, in the deepest corner of your soul, there’s the real you longing that may you be the girl he would spend forever with.
This time, you are ready. This time, you are willing to love him the way he loved you before. This time, you are sure that he’s everything you’ve been waiting for all your life. But it’s too late. He already found what he’s looking for, what he’s praying for, what he deserves when he started loving the girl who was there when you weren’t. From that excruciating defeat, you realized how painful it is to love someone who has already given up on you a long time ago.
Originally published on April 23, 2012, 7:10 P.M. via Tumblr